First Noticed

Lack of unintended anger. We, meaning I and those who have gone through this wringer, understand how difficult it is, when drinking, just to get through a single day. If you’ve retained any common sense you’ve decided not to drive. If you run out, one of two things happen, you drive drunk or you cajole another to drive for you. The wife, the son, the daughter (if of age) and even the neighbor who will do anything to get you away from his or her house. Degradation in the extreme but, who cares as long as I have a fresh bottle!

Pathetic comes to mind doesn’t it? That’s because it is and this is the one reason among thousands that I will never drink again. Had something happened when one of the above was fetching my addictive necessities I would, if I sobered up, probably consider doing away with myself. At the time it matters not nor is it a consideration that you are trying to force a person to do something against their own common sense. To hell with that person gimme my BOOZE!

This is what I wake up to and celebrate each day in my own quiet way. The fact that I am no longer a burden on those who loved me enough to be taken advantage of. Hell would not have me back when this was going on, fifteen years ago. Yeah, there have been weeping events as I came to and understood just what a cheap anchor I had become on my family.

I don’t write this for me. I write this for those who are doing what I did and it matters not if it is drink or drugs. You have made yourself a stone around the necks of those who love you and no amount of words from me can help until you understand what a jerk you are. A selfish jerk who will likely die leaving others wondering why you didn’t allow your common sense to prevail. Death comes with the territory does it not? It sure as hell does!

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