After

Well, I drank through my middle age before I finally killed myself . . . almost. That was at age 65. I could blame my problem on most anything seeing as this is a website and you don’t know me. However, because I am no longer ashamed of the truth I figured it should be written about in a meaningful way. It is no secret, my alcohol intake, to my family who suffered me and came back to me after, but it is possibly critical to those who are trying to or have managed to come through that hell and are recovering. Blame nobody but you is the first thing I would say. But, only after you are well enough to begin the serious job of getting better. Find God and Jesus if you haven’t yet. Recovery is better that way as you have a backstop to pour your thoughts to in sincere prayer.

Prayer is what brought me around to my senses again. I don’t claim to know how God does things but I know He does them silently in answer to prayer if it does not go against His teachings. The bible is excellent whether you think it is bunk or keep it in your heart as I do. God’s word is nourishment for your heart and soul and you need it badly. As only you will understand. So great an illness that it takes lives each and every day, somewhere in this belligerent world.

Today I am sober for fifteen years, no AA meetings. I am for AA but I do not go to them any longer. Yes, I am smart enough to go again if temptation tries to get the better of me. In the meantime I have learned to build websites, use code to build more complex sites, and got back to being who I used to be. It did not happen overnight! It took at least five to six years to get my brain to remember and to solve problems both mathematical and life. The damage done was extensive and not a single doctor in the hospital thought I would live through that first night. If I did manage to continue breathing I would be a vegetable, they figured. I am not a vegetable but I do enjoy them when fresh. I am also not giddy about living. One step at a time is how I do things and I do not allow myself to become harried about anything.

My young life before combat was not good as my entire family fought, sometimes with fists, when I was very young and had no idea what was wrong. I look more to that than I do to just getting drunk and partying. I could be all wet to even consider those times also. What matters is that I am clean for maybe the longest period since I was out of the Navy. I look forward to most days and am able to get quite a lot done even at my old age.

To end, I want to tell any who come here that I am considering opening a discussion forum I have built to any who may want support or just to write about our world. I am not ready to announce it yet but this will be the place I do announce it to the world. Just a place to go to when you’re feeling down or when another person wants to help one who is trying to quit. I am not a medical doctor nor a psychologist so it will just be for support for those who need it. Verbal only. Do with the advice you may get what you think is right and don’t be afraid to say no if the advice doesn’t suit you. Sobriety is the only aim for that website and forum.