Day to Day

Eventually, a former drunk, needle freak, mind bender gets to operating day to day: sober. Let’s speak of being sober, OK? It is not going from days of misery to days of glory, day to day. It is what we used to consider normal, before inundating ourselves with nonsense of mind. Nonsense is what the mind resorts to when under a chemical influence. Naturally, the brain is not built to be run on dope or alcohol. It rebels against you for subjecting it to false stimuli. False. Isn’t this what we all were back in the cups? WE weren’t ourselves, certainly. This is why we quit in the first place. We were not the same person that others got used to and liked or loved for being, YOU. YOU. What is YOU?

You are one who has a brain that needs nurturing. Food is basic and food takes a back seat to alcohol when alcohol is driving the brain’s ability to differentiate. A confused brain is not a healthy brain and a brain not healthy gets a bit weird doesn’t it? Welcome to dependence. You made this happen, no one else did though you may blame your past on others. Cheap excuses for behavior result in cutting oneself off from life.

If you understand the above, wonderful. If you are put off by the above, what is your problem then? If you don’t understand that your problem is all you then there is not a good chance of retaining sobriety. Your mind constantly hearkens back to others who did you wrong and points to them, not you, to blame. It is all you though. Learning to forgive reinforces your defense and sets you on even keel. If I dwelled on who did me wrong growing up I would not be writing any of this. It was forgiving those that allowed my spirit to strengthen and without my spirit growing a new set of legs to stand on I would be drunk as a lord each day, again. I don’t want to ever go there again and I won’t.

Listen to me saying I won’t. What I mean is that getting high is not on my schedule any longer and I have gotten to a different, not higher or lower, plain of existence. A LOFT, if you will. I like the view from up here. It is focused and I no longer see double or see things that are not there. My mind is sharp and ready for darned near anything including my closeness to death at my age. So what? It is natural and that is what life should be. At least I have all my wits gathered in a corral filled with nourishing food for thought. It used to be scraps found in the streets in the city of Dependence.

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