Who?

I guess it makes a tad of sense to tell you who I am but I’ll let my articles tell you what I think. The difference, though slight, may help a person get a little more comfortable or familiar with this website and, therefore, the understanding of why I think the way I do.


I was the last born in what then became a family of five. I was eight years the younger and I paid for being the “little guy” as my next older brother was rather a sadist and I was tiny in comparison. Before I go any further with this that brother then became my most cherished family member as he judged me to be a smart man when it came the time that his physical attacks would be met with force instead of tears. I somehow managed to not allow him to greatly influence the rest of my life. My memories are of a friend who once gave me pain but changed and became a real friend.

I went into the military at age nineteen and spent four years either in war or training to go to war. I enjoyed the heck out of it and took all of it, the good and the ugly, in stride at the time. It was later, when I discovered the lies of our government, that I angered.

The anger took me down and damn near took my life while it was at it. I spent the last twenty years stitching together my family and putting people at ease with who I am now versus what I was in the throes of mental illness. I call my anger “mental illness” not from a professional diagnosis but from my own view point of myself. It was that fixing, not healing or some other trite nicety of verbiage, that brought me here. I had to tear myself down to my very spirit and then build myself back up again to what I now am. An imperfect but stable presence in this world.

Now, stable is a huge word in our world as so many have lost stability and, like a ship under full power with no one at the helm, plunges into another group of ships without slowing to consider navigation. I do consider navigation whereas before I was not really at the helm of me. I was guns-a-blazin,’ full speed ahead, shouting and ranting.

It is from the tearing apart and rebuilding of who I am that allows me the latitude to take only a few things seriously now. I did this with only the love and faithfulness of my lovely bride and, later, my children’s forgiveness. The latter took time and I had to own myself and prove myself. Not that they asked me to prove myself it was me that told me I had to prove myself for them. That has taken eleven years and it has worked because I returned to me with patience. A virtue I did not have before and only realized the lack in the tearing down aspect of my remodel.

I didn’t seek professional help during any of this. Instead, I chose the Bible as my faith, once sullied, had been brought back like a fresh bed with clean sheets. I slid into it with comfort, warmth, and weariness, all the reasons for doing so I soon learned. “Let the little children come unto me,” as Jesus said.

I come to you with familial love and caring. You may choose to disregard this or accept it depending on your cynicism. I threw cynicism out years ago but I know where you’re coming from, believe me. I hate using the term, “believe me,” but it is apt in this situation. Be of good cheer when you come here and be ready to think a little as thoughtfulness is a requirement of life whereas flying off the handle is a life bound for destruction. I’ve been in too many places and done too many things wrong to ever judge another except by their actions. What you think is not within my purview so I will only suggest that you think again if what you do hurts others. That is my gist for this website.

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